He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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