I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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