I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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