Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
one might say we're banned from that church
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
