The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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