Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
