Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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