Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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