Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
time to smoke my breakfast
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
