I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
