Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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