If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
