Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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