Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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