I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
