Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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