I feel like abortions should bother me more
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
