he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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