somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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