Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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