i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
