she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Two words: nipple clamps
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