I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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