PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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