Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
