a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize