Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
