Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
