I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i think im in europe. pls send help
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
