theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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