She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
