Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
