You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
