When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
