Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
