Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
