i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
