dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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