i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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