Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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