So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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