Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I need a beard to bite.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
