Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
