its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
