so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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