a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
