I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
