their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
