Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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