"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I made him laugh his dick is mine
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
